Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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