she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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