Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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