I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
