dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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