a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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