i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
