he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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