i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
