I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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