How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
