We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
