Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
