So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
