I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
