Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Found the puke drawer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
