We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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