i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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