So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
