Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
