i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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