he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
