I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it hurts more in the daytime
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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