East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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