i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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