Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
