So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
