You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
