My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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