you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
