I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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