Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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