There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
