Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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