You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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