just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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