Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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