uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
