Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There are leaves in my underwear?
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