Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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