those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
