A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
