i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
