I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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