What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
