vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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