you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
