Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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