Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
