This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
