i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
